TIPS FROM PARENTS TO PARENTS

FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON...

Prep ahead:

Every season, I get out children’s books that describe the holiday to read to my daughter. She responds well to pictures, so I look for books with photos or realistic drawings.

Use a calendar or chart to record holiday ideas and plans. Get ideas from family members of what they might like to do, or what brings happiness to them.

Make an extra effort to provide nutritious meals and snacks, since sugary treats lurk everywhere during the holidays.

Before parties and big events:

Ask the host ahead of time who might be attending, what will be served, and what activities are planned, so you can prepare your kids.

If your child is wearing a special outfit for the first time, have a dress rehearsal to make sure that he or she is comfortable in it.

Be sure your child gets plenty of sleep. A nap or rest time may be needed beforehand.

Prep a backpack with a favorite toy, blanket, or stuffed animal -- and don’t forget a change of clothes. If your child is sensitive to noise, bring a headset to block it out.

Review social rules and set expectations. Remind your child what he can do for himself when he gets overwhelmed.

If bringing food, prepare a dish that your child actually likes.

Consider taking two cars so one adult can leave early with your child if necessary.

During parties and big events:

If your child needs constant supervision, decide ahead of time who will do it, before you get caught up in conversation. Or commit to taking turns.

Leave before your child gets too tired. Getting to the point of being “past tired” makes my child even more irritable and overwhelmed.

Make up a signal or code word to alert family members that it’s time to go.

Be realistic on behavior…most children and adults do some acting out on holidays!

Don’t try to do too much. You may not be able to go to as many parties or participate in as many holiday events as some other families. That’s OK – just make the things you do be special.

Other Activities: House with Lights

Drive around to see the holiday lights. Looking at displays from your vehicle means no loading kids and equipment in and out of the car.

Going to see a movie during break? Don’t depend its MPAA rating alone to figure out whether a film is appropriate for your child—get the lowdown on language, violence, and more at www.commonsensemedia.org.

Make special holiday foods or treats with your children – it’s one way they can begin practicing your family traditions.

Santa doesn’t just come to the mall. You can often find smaller, quieter places to visit Santa and have pictures taken.

Designate a time to give back: Make a gift or decorations for someone who has less, prepare a meal for a family in need, make cards to send American soldiers overseas, or do other activities that fit your values.

Declare a “book night:” Give books to others, host a book swap, or read aloud to little ones.

Dealing with Relatives:

Have gift suggestions ready for those who want to give presents to your child. It’s sometimes tough for them to know what is appropriate, wanted, or needed.

Clue in relatives to your child’s triggers and ways to avoid them.

When visiting relatives, have an escape plan worked out. Leaving a family gathering can be trickier than leaving a large party.

The Rest of the Family:

Go with the flow – take time to enjoy unexpected moments.

Spend some special time with the siblings; they sometimes feel shorted if you have to curtail holiday fun because of a brother or sister with special needs.

Remember to take pictures – even if your child with special needs isn’t behaving “typically.” (I have a cute picture of my daughter watching MTV and eating chocolate while the rest of us opened gifts a few years ago.)
Be prepared to be a little sad, especially when you are around typically developing kids. Know that this too shall pass.

And our last tip: Get a sitter. Sometimes you just need to celebrate alone.

Do you have a holiday parent tip to share? Email us at info@matrixparents.org.

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